Supermarket wisdom.
Don't buy crushed wheat bread unless you really, really like crumbs.
The new "Take 5" candy bar is exactly what I thought it would be. Too many cooks spoil the broth. That and it kinda looks like two lumps of crap when you open the package. I thought it was going to be one solid bar, but it wasn't. To be fair, it wasn't that bad, but the pretzels throw everything off.
Learn to make a really good beef stew.
The tide is high.
So it seems to me that we've become a nation of specialists.
Consultants, professionals, idiots, and several other reasons.
My theory is that it's because we've become more isolated as a whole.
Thus, it's easier to get away with bad qualities like being an asshole if you can do at least one thing really well. And it helps to market it well as well.
This reminds me of women who can't break up with a guy just because he's good in bed.
So raise a single finger, this is why I'm number one!
Uranus is disgusting.
Yesterday I learned that Uranus ejaculated into the sea and that's why there's foam and...
...um, something else. Probably white in color. I can't believe I forgot the other thing.
Anyway, my teacher said this and he was being totally serious. Of course that didn't stop the class from bursting out laughing.
Is this why the sea is so salty too?
Tomorrow I will explain why I am number one.
Graveyard efficiency.
Efficiency.... I before E, huh? Where would I be without dictionary.com? Across the room looking things up manually, that's where!
Anyway, an interesting passage in Ulysses has a graveyard caretaker musing that it would be much more efficient if they buried people veritcally instead of horizontally. I thought this was a great idea!
The only downside is that it doesn't seem like a very comfortable position. Death is rest, right? I assume that's why the horizontal burials. Sleep forever, and who sleeps standing up? Well, this is a good point, but I don't really care. I wonder if graveyards are a waste of space, similar to a golf course.
Anyway, I wonder how comfortable a coffin is after you start decomposing and getting all nasty. I know when I don't bathe for a while I don't feel very comfortable. Then everything starts decomposing and stuff, who knows how your body is going to end up?
Vertically I'm sure you won't be very comfortable. But hey, eventually everything will grind into dust. And when you think about it, in what position is dust not comfortable in? Dust can adapt to anything. At that point, you're gonna be mad comfortable no matter what your coffin is shaped like.
Hence, cremation might be the most comfortable resting place of all.
So when you get buried, are you going to be selfish and take up way too much space, or will you trade a small comfort now for the people of the future?
More papers, so...
Yes, faithful readers. Lots of papers due this week. Three, in fact.
So, that means a lot more death. Look forward to it!
"You! Cake or death..."
Is there such a thing?
I was wondering if there was a place on the internet that kept track of things that congress is doing.
I mean, it could be like sports, right? Updated live statistics on what each senator voted on, how many times, and how many times they abstained or were absent.
Actually, considering the expansive influence the internet is getting, I think senators are outdated. How about once a week we have web polls to vote on all the issues that congress is doing? Where you live (or register) is the district that your vote will count toward. Kinda like a virtual senator.
I mean, sheesh, this whole argument over the man Bush selected as UN Ambassador makes me sad. However, if they are able to overturn the selection, I have some recommendations for other people he has selected to be overturned as well. Like Veep.
Practical.
It's scary how lost people are without their cell phones nowadays.
I just put all the phone numbers I have on my phone into my computer. It's a big word document. This way someone has to jack my phone and my computer in order to cut me off from all of my friends temporarily.
Perhaps it is a true test of friendship to have your phone stolen and then get a new one with the same number and see how many numbers you can replace using the called ID.
Anyway, doing this took me a while, and I know I'm below average in terms of how many numbers I keep on my phone. A lot of them have to be outdated, too, and some of the names I can't even remember. If you're reading this, I'm so sorry. Give me a call and remind me who you are.
Copying phone numbers from a cell phone to a computer is a strange life-evaluation process. I wonder what the experience is like for other people who have experimented with this.
A new perspective on drugs?
So some people drink and do drugs to escape from their problems.
If you're constantly out of it, then you just won't know.
But I, on the other hand, like problems.
I'm good at avoiding confrontation, so it's like a challenge.
So I drink and do drugs to create more problems.
Figure that one out!
Writing for dummies.
Some say originality is dead.
Others say originality never truly exists, as everything you know is based off of something else.
Well now I'm writing scenes where I take an old concept or scenerio and modernize it, which means I rewrite it using new characters and my own words.
Those who knew the old concept or scenerio remember the point of the old writing and appreciate it in the new context. Those who don't know it, or fail to make the connection, say "Damn dawg, that was some dope thinking you put into that!"
Originality is all about timing and context. Yes! I can do this!
House.
I think I can summarize every episode of "House."
Victim: Oh no, something is wrong. *bleck*
House: Can anyone guess what it is? Well, you're wrong. It's (insert random disease here.)
House's staff: I still think you should have done it our way. Or be nicer.
Victim: Alright I feel better. Oh wait, now I feel worse. *bleck*
House: Hmmm...
Important person: House, we need this person alive.
House: Well, it's got to be (insert really obscure illness here.) So let's fix that.
Medical person: But we can't do that! If we're wrong it'll kill the victim!
House: Well then it's up to this important person. What's it going to be? Keep the victim the same or do as I say? If you do it like I say and he dies then I'm wrong. If you don't and he dies then you'll be wrong!
Important person: ... *fade to black or commercial. When we come back we see the IP went with House's suggestion and the victim lives*
THE END!
Staring.
Didja see the part where I wrote about the imagination having infinite possibilities?
Well now I'm just staring at the computer trying to figure out something to search for.
Ah, the internet is vast. Perhaps Springsteen can make a sequel to that "57 channels and nothin' on" song. Modern update.
Push the "refresh" or "reload" button for this page. I might have updated in the time it took you to read this!
New day!
Some people have asked me how I'm doing today, kinda unexpectedly from my end. I mean, usually if someone asks how you're doing it's either because they want something from you or they're just being polite in their greeting. But these people today
really wanted to know how I was doing. I wonder why...
And now for my inane observation for the day. I like watching American Idol, but I have no idea what the judges are looking for. Is it pure singing talent, because if it's just that then I know there could have been a better final 12 than that. It would explain, however, why everyone was so bad at singing musicals. They don't really know how to act, all they can do is sing. Kinda funny, though. I'd think with the sheer number of people that tried out that they could get some better pure singers than that.
I'd assume an idol would be something you could idolize. However the idols chosen don't seem to represent the America I know. Look at season two, where you had an overweight black guy and a metrosexual white guy for the finalists. Where in our culture is this idolized, outside of the Bravo channel?
The finals should be between a homeless guy with a heart of gold and a retired teenager who just does whatever.
That's your American Idol.
Death and Papers.
For some reason, whenever I do a paper for school I think about death.
My philosopy on life right now is: Life is about adjustment. Because when you die, that's gonna be one hell of an adjustment.
So, consider life is the preparation for death. In life I have found strength in connecting with the earth. Martial arts and such teach a connection with your center and the ground/Earth. Spirituality often embraces nature. The older you get the more in tune with it you are, hence old people sitting on the front porch predicting the weather.
Thus, in life you learn connection with the Earth. In death you will learn how to connect with the universe, or whatever's out there.
Alrighty, back to writing this paper. It's on Ulysses, no less.
Alrighty...
Looks like the posts will all be kept in chronological order from whenever I date them. I suppose this means that if I want something to be seen as the first post every time someone looks at this page all I have to do is set the date of the post into the future and it'll always be number one! Well, at least until the date I set it to actually happens, but by then it'll be old news.
If anyone has any suggestions or ideas for things to add to this blog, please let me know. Comments are highly encouraged!
Cat with bag on it's head. Taken without permission from someone I don't know. Probably a male.
First times for everything.
So, as there should be some content on the site before I start telling people about it, it's time for my first real post.
But what to write about? I might as well start with what I think of this blog and blogs in general.
I don't know how many people have these blogs on blogspot/blogger but there are apparently over 6 and a half million people with livejournals, with about 2.6 million of them active. That's a pretty intimidating number, for a few reasons. First is the thought of being one voice in millions and millions. Second is that apparently about 1 in 2.5 people abandon their blogs. And that's just the stats over at livejournal.
I'm used to being such a small voice as no one pays attention to me anyway. Luckily I like to listen to myself talk so that gives this blog at least one purpose. The thing that bothers me most of all is the quitting thing, as I don't wanna quit thinking about things and talking (mostly to myself, if need be) about them. I suppose the number of inactive blogs shouldn't surprise me. After all, people have been writing dairies/journals long before the internet was even fathomable, and they've been quitting writing those too.
Quite frankly, the hardest thing about this blog is probably going to be just having something to write from time to time. It seems odd, after all the human mind is capable of so many things. It's complex and needy and in addition there's way too much around in the world not to have an opinion or observation about. It seems silly to either not have anything to talk about or not be able to think of something interesting. But it happens way more often than not, apparently, especially on dates.
So what's the deal with all these droppings? I'd imagine lack of interest. I doubt I'll get a lot of comments on what I write, and overall it doesn't seem that important. Well, it's probably not important at all in any perspective you might come up with, but I don't do a lot of what I do based on importance. Perhaps I should change that just a little. But anyway, that's my theory. If it's not important, one less thing to do.
Such an attitude ruins the purpose of speaking. I think we'd all be better off as monks meditating. We'd certainly be a lot more peaceful. As it stands, I think this blog could become a very nice way for people who wanna to keep in touch with me since it's very hard to call or e-mail someone you kinda knew for a few years in school or work just to catch up and chitchat, especially if you have no ulterior motives to go along with it. So that's it. Once a month or so you can see how I'm doing. Say hi while you're at it.
This thing could also be a good way to start off a career as a stand-up comedian. The only problem is that you can't re-use any material you post on this blog, as it's not exactly a small venue. Which is kinda odd to think about as I insinuated that very few people are gonna read this thing.
So yeah, now I gotta worry about dressing this blog up a little. I hope to find someplace to put up some poetry or scripts, and maybe have a few extras all over the place. Perhaps one of them mood indicators. I wonder if everything I write is owned by blogspot or something. I don't think I have any legal rights to it or anything like that. I'll figure it out later.
Okay, fine...
I need to have a post in order for me to test out all the settings. Sheesh.
